The Return to Wellness is a Slow & Winding Road

Life just keeps on 'ife-ing'.


While still enjoying a glow of accomplishment and the tranquil satisfaction of having settled a significant and lingering advocacy issue, a few new in-your-face challenges pop up like a whack-a-mole arcade game!


Logging three years now since the 'news', 2 surreal biopsies, 2 surgeries, 27 weekly chemo infusions followed by 6 weeks of daily radiation therapy and subsequent lymphedema complications, it can be said that this BCx survivor is doing pretty well today.


For a stretch of time, though, I had to keep letting key folks know that there are still serious needs.  Admittedly these needs were not easy to see from the outside but none the less were debilitating and demanding on the inside, and that they HAVE to be met.   What was more annoying?  These needs kept changing.  From day to day, month to month, season to season post-chemo recovery is like a moving target.  Hard to identify, challenging to describe, and a b*tch to contain.


During the 3-out-of-5 year treatment plan of aromatase inhibitors, I thought I would have felt more zippy, effective, with it. Should be full of energy now with a new lease on life, gettin' back my mojo.  Dang, I'm still alive; surely I should be more happy*hoppy, gittin' stuff done.  Right?


Truth is I feel mostly better with a few notable changes.  Changes that sneak up on a person.


Creaky, fatigued, insomniac, edgy, bloat-y, another size up, light-headed, distracted, weepy.  Dry mouth. Did I say edgy? Skin issues? Its gradual. Like a frog sitting in a slowly heating pot of water. Basically OK and certainly better than getting chemo.  Can't really tell anything is wrong.  Not until the water hit boiling!  Just ask my husband, my kid and my boss.


Stress sits on the chest like a gravid gorilla. Nausea and dizziness, a few falls. Then the dawn rises, alarms start ringing.  This calls for updated medical attention.  


Come to find out that the creeping elevation in blood pressure, debilitating bone and joint pain, drop in focus and stamina, craving for carbohydrates, fluctuations in mood can all effect a girl's quality of life. 


Blood tests prohibited a change in the key medications for about 18 months.  I'm neither here nor there and must wait to be safe and sure.  Circumstances kept getting worse, and even more stressful.


Adjustments that could be made helped but even those were hit or miss for awhile.  Eventually, the right combinations slipped into place.  Finally, I am validated, thus vindicated.  Like coming to, I begin to recognize where I AM.


It was time to establish new boundaries, but more importantly to accept the new limitations.  Researching resources for a lifestyle modification, one question lead to another.  The doctor called the shot and ultimately friends, family and colleagues collaborated to help me comply. Gradually, it seemed possible to get things on track.


So, what else is helping?  Antioxidant fruit 'n' veggie juices.  A motivational seminar with a couple of great girlfriends.  Air in the bicycle tires.  Seated and supine hip openers, cat-n-dog stretches, spinal twists, rag doll and some other inversions.  Huggin' Honey. Setting a few new goals. Dusting off one old but particularly valuable goal.  A new mouse and ergonomic keyboard.  A few oujai breaths.  Lots and lots and lots of prayers.  A new hairstyle. Finally having SOME hair. TRT(R) Radiance attunement and practice. A walk around the neighborhood with the kid.  Cutting myself and others some slack. Reading tons of great books.  The movies. Writing a poem.  Getting a new normal. Getting a life.


I was reminded recently of an old favorite quote ~ a thing worth doing is worth doing badly until we can do it well...


What's most difficult?  Being patient with myself and everyone else. And procrastinating less.  What's most rewarding?  Being patient with myself and everyone else. Getting started. Persevering. Mustering up courage to look outside the box and ask for what is needed.  Doing that until the needs are met.


So then, there IS truly no time like the present. 


How are you returning to wellness in your life? Come and post an update on what's new with you. Until next time...


Blessings ~ enjoy the glorious summer days 


Namaste.